When I was in college, the second time, God carried me many times. I had six kids at home, and was in a very difficult marriage. It was so hard, I’m still amazed I made it. Lessons that God taught me in that time, he has brought back often.
One of the most valuable lessons that he taught me, is his ability to overcome my inabilities. There was a class that I was having trouble with that was necessary to graduate. It felt like a technological interference. I had the pieces, but they just wouldn’t come together. I struggled with one project in web design that we had been working on for a several days. It was a compacted interterm class, a significant project, worth a good portion of my grade, and it just wasn’t happening. It was like looking at a bunch of gobbily gook, trying to remember all the codes. I was so frustrated, and under a huge amount of stress at home, and my mind was suffering for it on top of this. I knew myself enough to know that trying to struggle on through it was not going to help, but would just make matters worse. Before I went to bed that night, I gave it to God. I told him that there was no way it was going to happen unless he did it. I felt stupid, stressed, confused, and crushed. I did not see or know how he could possibly make me understand it, but that was the only way. There were many tears. I had come so far and now it seemed impossible. There wasn’t time to reschedule. It had to get done. I went to sleeping crying, but knew that if God wanted me to graduate, that he would have to do it.
The next morning I woke up with complete clarity. I can’t explain how he did it, but I completely understood it. It actually seemed easy. That had never happened before. I got to school as quickly as I could to complete it. I knew everything that I needed. I not only did well, but got an A on the project, and then finally an A in the overall class. Boom! God showed up in a mighty way for me. It was not only then, but also many times that I would have a paper or something due and I couldn’t get it all done. I worked as hard as I could, but life wouldn’t allow it. I can’t tell you how many times I got to class in those times, and the instructor said that something came up and the due date was pushed back. Other times the instructor had to miss the class for some reason and the date was moved. It got to the point that I watched and expected it. He never failed me, not once.
Today, I feel like I am in a similar place with my book as well as other areas of life. It feels sometimes with the battle, that I have been experiencing technological interference. There comes a time when I have to lay it down and wait for God to move in a big way. I know he will not fail me. I prophesy that the work will get done. His words will come forth. Perhaps he is just bringing me to that place of showing me again, that it’s not in me. It must be in him. He will bring us to places that we can not do in our own capabilities just so he can make himself known. It’s not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit says the Lord.
Sometimes we just can’t cut our to do list down anymore. God may have us doing more things than we have capacity within ourselves to do. If he wants a work done, whether we are in need of clarity or capacity he will make a way for that work to get done.
Melicia Evans 