“How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?” (Ps.12:2)
I wonder what the thoughts were that David struggled with. We get from these verses that he must have been dealing with an amount of fear. He had been anointed to be the King of Israel approximately 15 years before he actually walked in that promise as king. How many times, when David was running from Saul, was he perplexed and in despair? In the Psalms, he’s pouring out his pain and worshiping the Lord. There is no indication that God is not pleased with David for these struggles. Even though David is wrestling and wondering. He is often challenged and tested.
How often do we tend to either doubt God’s love or presence in dark times? How often do we think that he has left us or doesn’t care about our situation? David’s struggles and weaknesses are in full view and yet God is not disappointed in him. Where do we get the idea that we have to be perfect? Where do we get the idea that we are a disappointment to God when we wrestle? I have struggled over this. It’s almost laughable that the enemy places a thought in our head, and then tells us that we are no good to God because of it. Now, I realize that there are some thoughts that we know come from the enemy, and others that we are not really sure of the origin.
In the Psalms, David didn’t just pour out his troubles. He brings the focus back to the goodness of God. He may struggle with fear or doubt, but he comes back to God’s trustworthiness. He reminds himself of what God has done in the past, both in his life and others in Israel.
“But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. 6 I will sing the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me.” (Ps. 12:5-6)
The greatest battle we face is in our heads. When your thoughts are dark or challenge you, get into the Word of God. Remind yourself of what God has already done. Pray. Replace unhealthy thoughts with God’s. Give thanks and praise for what he has done. Submit to his Spirit. For years I was tormented. My mind and memories warred within me, and the emotions that came with them. There is such an entangling of thoughts and emotions that it is difficult to say where one ends and another begins. It is clear however, that our thoughts cannot go unchecked if we are to walk in victory. This healing journey has been a process that many times I did not think I would survive. It has been much intensity with it. This is something that God alone did for me. He will do the same for anyone. What has he done for you? What has he done for others? Like a medicine bottle that sits, unopened on the shelf, the Word of God does no good unless you get it in you.
If you are walking through or desiring a healing of the heart, let me encourage you to use the Psalms as a pattern and example.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” (Rom. 12:2)
There is so much more to write on this subject. This is very abbreviated. Here is one of the best teachings that I heard some time ago. If you struggle with thoughts, there is a great teaching by Bill Johnson, The War in your Head. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWXxVSDqI4U&t=312s
(The butterfly above is from a photo I took and played with five or six years ago.)
Melicia Evans 