Freedom

Freedom, the word has seemed vague and illusive to me at times. In different situations and conversations it can have different meanings. What keeps us from being free to do what we are called to do?

            2Peter 1:3 says, “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.”

            Since we have been given everything that we need to live a godly life, there is no want. We are not in short supply. And if we are not short, then what is holding us back? Doesn’t living a godly life encompass everything as believers? Such as living upright, and holy lives, but also doing what he has called us to do?

            How often is what holds us back directly linked to expectations? We have our own expectations of ourselves, others, God, and million things really of how things are supposed to go and how we are supposed to go with them. How much of our expectations are directly effected by the expectations of others, such as our families, church, society, and on and on?

            Tell me. How did these people and more get up next to God in our hearts and minds? Today’s culture is a perfect example. So many people are doing things and holding themselves back from things that they know are contrary to the truth. Yet, they still proceed. Why? Because they look around to see what everyone else is doing. They become afraid of words, and not being liked. Maybe this or that will happen. Maybe they don’t trust themselves. Maybe they don’t trust what they see, hear, or believe in these topsy-turvy times.

            That’s where I’ve been, in a place of not trusting myself. There’s been this bizarre stuff all around. I’ve seen myself fail…often. So what if I give less of my attention to mistrusting myself? Instead, I give that attention over to the one who deserves it, who has never failed me? What if I give myself permission to fail and fail and fail over and over again? It seems kind of funny, but why not just make fun. I never was good. God is the only, one thing in me that has ever been good, and he’s always good. He will always be good.

            When we’re afraid to fail, we prevent learning. This last summer I heard myself talking to my students about not being afraid to try. I saw some kids that looked around at the artwork of others and were afraid to put their own hand to it, so they might just sit there and watch. It hurt to know how they felt and how they would beat themselves up later for being afraid. It hurt to realize that my heart had forgotten that truth.

When I began my creative, art journey, I didn’t mind failing. I knew that for every failure I made, I learned something. It was about exploration, and fun. Sometimes, I was a little embarrassed when the mistake seemed stupid, but still I learned, and maybe even some humility in the process. (That’s also good to learn.)

Galatians 5:1, ‘It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.’

Galatians goes on to talk about not being bound by others who they themselves are not living in freedom. I have thought about how I have given in to the voices of so many throughout my life, family, friends, church, professors, too many to count. I’ve let their words create walls inside me. I refuse to live like that any longer. I will create, speak, write, draw, paint, and when I get really wildly bold, I suspect I’ll sing. Sometimes it may look weird, funny, strange, or just different. But sometimes it will be beautiful, and I will hold them all closely, because I want to live. I want to be free. Someday I might want to even dress funny, just because.

We are promised freedom in Christ. I’m taking mine even if I walk alone. So expect me to post my weird, odd, strange, and peculiar failures. Weighing every word is no fun. I am shaking off the rest of the fear that remained. Good-bye and I won’t miss you.

2 Corinthians 3:18, ‘Now the Lord is Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.’

(The image above is a small sketch that I made of one of my loved plants. It is small, only about 1″x2″.)