During a dark time I asked myself some serious questions. I had been in a long period of difficulties that I didn’t know exactly how to process. The questions sometimes went from… How long will this last? Is this it? Am I at the end? What about my promises? What about our promises? All the ‘what ifs’ were getting bigger and I felt I was losing hope.
So many times in my life I have come to a place of questioning God’s goodness. When things got very hard, like many, I questioned his love for me. Even after deeply experiencing his love, I could later see him as hard and maybe even vengeful. How could I do that? I thought that maybe he had tired of my shenanigans. Maybe he became weary of my weaknesses and failings. Maybe he was tired of waiting for me to do whatever it was that I thought that I should do. I had certainly given him many reasons to leave me or become angry. This had been my experience with people. None of these things were true with him.
When we read that the enemy came to steal, kill, and destroy, that is not limited in scope. It could be physical, mental, relationships, belongings and on and on. However, the number one thing that he is after is our relationship with God. Some of the many ways that this is done is through questioning God’s character and who we are to him.
In all this, I began to ask myself if it’s all worth it. Immediately, I smiled and almost laughed. The enemy had overplayed his hand. How ridiculous. I remembered life before I knew Christ to then. I never really knew love before I met him. All the rest was just a mirage or an illusion of love.
There have been dark times since I gave my life to him, but he was always there. Even in times I didn’t feel or see him, I would always rather wait for him than return to the pit in which he found me. God is good. He is worth it all. He is always good, all the time, not just when things are going well. He is good even when things don’t make sense.
God is good and he love’s you friend. His love is not like the love of the world. God is love (1John 4:16) in its purest form and love never fails (1Cor. 13:8). He has a plan for your life even when life seems unfriendly.
Job 42:2, a good verse to pray and let it soak into your heart. “Lord, I know that you can do all things and none of your plans can be thwarted.”
Blessings.
(In the image above, ‘Galaxies’, I used acrylics and colored pencils.)
Melicia Evans 