This is a painting by Sylvia Plimack Mangold. It is in the Nelson Atkins Museum of Art in Kansas City. I have been writing a chapter in my book about the filters through which we see ourselves. When I saw this painting, it reminded me how different what we see can be from reality.
When I saw the reversed words of this ruler, a measuring tool, in the mirror, I thought about how we perceive ourselves. I thought about the limiting words that define that perception. These words may have been spoken by loved ones that had their own problems, issues, or limiting beliefs. They may be from misunderstandings. They may be our own conclusions based on actual or perceived failures.
This has been a long process that the Lord has been working with me on, inner dialogue. Just because a word enters your head and it sounds like your voice, doesn’t make it true. They may look like truth in a moment. If you fail or don’t do well at something and labeled yourself a failure or something else that doesn’t make it true. How can a life’s entirety be summed up like that in a small piece of time or a snapshot?
Another person may speak harsh words to you out of their own brokenness that has nothing to do with you. They are just unhappy with themselves and treat others poorly out of that.
If you see yourself through these distorted words, you are believing and agreeing with a lie. I like how the name of the ruler in this painting is EXACT when the reflection is exactly the opposite. So the words that we can believe about ourselves could be the opposite of reality. No one wants to be measured by a distorted measuring tool. If you are being measured by anything other than who God says you are, it is a faulty measurement. It is not EXACT. God says that you are precious and loved by Him.
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners Christ died for us. (Rom.5:8)
There have been times that I may not have minded a tape measure that distorted my waste or other measurements in my favor. However, that wouldn’t have helped me. My measurements really wouldn’t have changed at all, only my perception of them. If I had purchased clothes with the size to adjust to those measurements, they wouldn’t have fit. It would have cost me more in the long run.
That is a simple example, but when we believe a lie there is a cost. The lies that I believed have cost me a lot. A price tag could not be put on it if it were converted to money. Sometimes the lies go beyond just ourselves. It can affect those closest to us.
Have you noticed how our perceptions go beyond ourselves? The lies we believe can affect every part of our lives, relationships, and confidence to do new things.
Lies affect future generations. If the lies are causing us to live in fear, that fear can influence our responses to those we care about. For example, I can see generations of anxious thinking in my family. My children were then affected by the anxiety that I carried. I didn’t notice how much until later.
There was much trauma in my growing-up years. Some were the consequences of my own poor choices, and some were the consequences of others’ poor choices. After I gave my life to Jesus I began to heal from family issues, substance abuse, and sexual trauma. I had been moved from home to home in state custody and had some crazy experiences there. After I got cleaned up I was assaulted again. Again, God began healing me. Then, I got into a very difficult marriage. I honestly didn’t know if I would make it out with my mind intact. Those things from my growing up years came back.
When my first child was born a switch flipped. I could never have imagined being able to love another person like that. I became super protective. I wanted to protect my kids from the crazy stuff that I’d gone through and any other crazy world thing. That, my marriage, and a not completely healed childhood sent anxiety off the charts. Sometimes, I can see now, I overcompensated. I wanted to do everything just right, but I didn’t. I did the best I could with what I had at the time. I’ve had moments of really beating myself up over not getting it right in that and other things.
At this point in our world, I don’t know that it’s possible to come out unscathed. What a mess! Still, God is good. He really is so good. He loves us in and through it all. He will bring us out the other side. Sometimes it’s just putting one foot in front of the other, doing your best, and remembering or realizing that life is just not pretty sometimes. It can be hard and we can grow strong through it. It’s not an advertisement on screen with everyone glowing because they just got a new car, phone, or the perfect candy bar.
I’ve been working on this for a while and still have work to do. If you are having trouble seeing yourself from Jesus’ perspective first of all know that He sees you. You are immeasurably loved. Spend time in the Bible to hear what he says about you and pray.
It takes work and repetition to change your thought life. Can I suggest Psalm 139 as a place to start? I’d like to write a study or a series of blogs on this Psalm, but deciding how to divide it. There is a lot there. Leave a comment if you would like prayer.