The Giants Will Be Our Food

If you are familiar with Betta fish, they are beautiful small feisty fish. They are often in a fishbowl by themselves. They can be overly aggressive and may attack other fish. I had a vision of a Betta, also known as a Fighter Fish, hovering over a bowl of large fish fillets. It came at a time when I needed encouragement for the giants I was facing in my own life. I laughed and asked the Lord what that was about. I heard, “The giants will be our food.” Jesus was letting me know that we, he and I together, would overcome what looked impossible to me.  

This reminded me of another vision I had of Kaleb from the bible saying to someone, “You know, you’re going to have to go through some giants to get to the Promised Land.” Both of these visions are rooted in the book of Joshua. This is where the Israelites went in to take possession of the Promised Land. 

I haven’t seen a huge change in my outward circumstances yet, but I am seeing ground taken. I am seeing small victories that are building momentum. Inwardly I’m seeing changes. It’s been a long series of inner battles. These battles of the mind and heart have affected some things like my body and work. This painting is some of the evidence to me of ground being taken. 

Celebrate your victories of any size. Keep doing what you know to do. Sometimes, big victories come a little at a time.

You might be just a little fish, but if you are in Christ, you are an overcomer. I don’t know what your battles are, but God does, and nothing is too hard for him. Even periods of enduring are overcoming when your face is set toward Him to do His will.  

I’m praying for you, for your peace, that God guides you and helps you overcome all your giants. 

Opposite View

This is a painting by Sylvia Plimack Mangold. It is in the Nelson Atkins Museum of Art in Kansas City. I have been writing a chapter in my book about the filters through which we see ourselves. When I saw this painting, it reminded me how different what we see can be from reality. 

When I saw the reversed words of this ruler, a measuring tool, in the mirror, I thought about how we perceive ourselves. I thought about the limiting words that define that perception. These words may have been spoken by loved ones that had their own problems, issues, or limiting beliefs. They may be from misunderstandings. They may be our own conclusions based on actual or perceived failures.  

This has been a long process that the Lord has been working with me on, inner dialogue. Just because a word enters your head and it sounds like your voice, doesn’t make it true. They may look like truth in a moment. If you fail or don’t do well at something and labeled yourself a failure or something else that doesn’t make it true. How can a life’s entirety be summed up like that in a small piece of time or a snapshot?

Another person may speak harsh words to you out of their own brokenness that has nothing to do with you. They are just unhappy with themselves and treat others poorly out of that.

If you see yourself through these distorted words, you are believing and agreeing with a lie. I like how the name of the ruler in this painting is EXACT when the reflection is exactly the opposite. So the words that we can believe about ourselves could be the opposite of reality. No one wants to be measured by a distorted measuring tool. If you are being measured by anything other than who God says you are, it is a faulty measurement. It is not EXACT. God says that you are precious and loved by Him.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners Christ died for us. (Rom.5:8)

There have been times that I may not have minded a tape measure that distorted my waste or other measurements in my favor. However, that wouldn’t have helped me. My measurements really wouldn’t have changed at all, only my perception of them. If I had purchased clothes with the size to adjust to those measurements, they wouldn’t have fit. It would have cost me more in the long run.  

That is a simple example, but when we believe a lie there is a cost. The lies that I believed have cost me a lot. A price tag could not be put on it if it were converted to money. Sometimes the lies go beyond just ourselves. It can affect those closest to us.  

Have you noticed how our perceptions go beyond ourselves? The lies we believe can affect every part of our lives, relationships, and confidence to do new things.

Lies affect future generations. If the lies are causing us to live in fear, that fear can influence our responses to those we care about. For example, I can see generations of anxious thinking in my family. My children were then affected by the anxiety that I carried. I didn’t notice how much until later. 

There was much trauma in my growing-up years. Some were the consequences of my own poor choices, and some were the consequences of others’ poor choices. After I gave my life to Jesus I began to heal from family issues, substance abuse, and sexual trauma. I had been moved from home to home in state custody and had some crazy experiences there. After I got cleaned up I was assaulted again. Again, God began healing me. Then, I got into a very difficult marriage. I honestly didn’t know if I would make it out with my mind intact. Those things from my growing up years came back.  

When my first child was born a switch flipped. I could never have imagined being able to love another person like that. I became super protective. I wanted to protect my kids from the crazy stuff that I’d gone through and any other crazy world thing. That, my marriage, and a not completely healed childhood sent anxiety off the charts. Sometimes, I can see now, I overcompensated. I wanted to do everything just right, but I didn’t. I did the best I could with what I had at the time. I’ve had moments of really beating myself up over not getting it right in that and other things.

At this point in our world, I don’t know that it’s possible to come out unscathed. What a mess! Still, God is good. He really is so good. He loves us in and through it all. He will bring us out the other side. Sometimes it’s just putting one foot in front of the other, doing your best, and remembering or realizing that life is just not pretty sometimes. It can be hard and we can grow strong through it. It’s not an advertisement on screen with everyone glowing because they just got a new car, phone, or the perfect candy bar.  

I’ve been working on this for a while and still have work to do. If you are having trouble seeing yourself from Jesus’ perspective first of all know that He sees you. You are immeasurably loved. Spend time in the Bible to hear what he says about you and pray.

It takes work and repetition to change your thought life. Can I suggest Psalm 139 as a place to start? I’d like to write a study or a series of blogs on this Psalm, but deciding how to divide it. There is a lot there. Leave a comment if you would like prayer.

Painted Papers

Are You Book Enough January, ‘Expectations’:

First of all, let me be honest. I did not make most of this book for the challenge. I actually made it a couple of months ago. I was just looking at the themes for this year and thought how well it went with some expectations that I have read regarding bugs.

There seems to be a push to get Americans, as well as other countries, on board to eat bugs. Umm, I think that’s going to be a hard sell. How strange to go into businesses and shut them down for pests and then encourage the people to eat them.

I did once get a package of dried crickets, but that was just for fun. I actually find them fascinating, just not super appetizing. They can be quite beautiful.

The painted papers I use for a variety of projects. I use them in my journals and sketchbooks, as well as for collage. They are super fun to make. Sometimes I begin with a blank piece of paper or a printed page.

I have gone over making some of these papers in some of my challenges. I am currently thinking on what the next challenge will be and when. Besides making these papers, I often go over some things that you can do with them.

I may have some available in my Etsy shop sometime, which I just put a few small journals in.

Here’s the link. It’s a work in process:

https://www.etsy.com/shop/MeliciaFoster?ref=seller-platform-mcnav

New Birth

I’m just getting around to posting the finished painting here. I put off posting when I think I don’t have anything to say. Sometimes I just forget. It seems strange that I don’t think I have anything to say, but my brain is running non stop.

The after school classes that I usually teach are on hold for a bit. Both programs that I teach in have been undergoing changes this year. So, I am thinking about offering my own classes and adding in adults. Right now the idea is painting, book arts, and probably some kind of mixed media.

(The painting above is “It Won’t Be Long Now.” It is about the Lord uses the difficulties in our lives to bring birth to the new.)

“It Won’t Be Long Now”

This painting is almost finished. It’s been almost finished for over a month now. I wish that were the exception and not the rule, but…let’s just say it’s not my only long process piece.

This painting is significant to me because of the turn I’ve seen in my work. It isn’t so much about the outcome but the process. It began like many in that it started out in play and letting go of some stress. The difference is that since my ‘Tipping Point’ painting I’ve felt a greater nearness of the Lord in the process of creation. There is a letting go of how something is perceived or what I think it ‘should’ be and more enjoyment in it. Essentially, this is a letting go of the anxieties around the work.

In this one as I applied paint, I began to see a landscape of mountains with a womb in it. This is what the past few years have felt like to me. The mountains have felt impossible, but Jesus is saying that he is bringing life from these mountains. He is birthing something beautiful, beauty in the ashes.

I know that I am not the only one that is or has experienced difficulties and challenges. He has something beautiful for you too. Sometimes we just have to wait out the storm.

(The painting above is, “It Won’t Be Long Now.”)

Title from Amos 9 message version.:

13-15 “Yes indeed, it won’t be long now.” God’s Decree.

“Things are going to happen so fast your head will swim, one thing fast on the heels of the other. You won’t be able to keep up. Everything will be happening at once—and everywhere you look, blessings! Blessings like wine pouring off the mountains and hills. I’ll make everything right again for my people Israel:

    “They’ll rebuild their ruined cities.
    They’ll plant vineyards and drink good wine.
    They’ll work their gardens and eat fresh vegetables.
    And I’ll plant them, plant them on their own land.
    They’ll never again be uprooted from the land I’ve given them.”

God, your God, says so.

Journals & Sketchbooks

I love a book I can hold in my hand as an object as well as to read. The process of making them is an absolute delight as well. There’s something about making an item that you can use that is extremely rewarding.

I have kept journals since I was young. It may be one of the things that helped keep me alive when I was a problem child. A journal is a private world that you can step into and take whatever direction you like. It is hugely therapeutic.

I am working on making some into devotionals or at the very least scripture themed. Years ago I had an Etsy shop, but it’s been a while. I hope to open one up again soon.

Do you journal? If so, what do you enjoy about journaling? What do you look for in a journal?

(These journals range from a very small 1.5″x1″ to an 8″x5″. Hand-dyed, inked, or painted pages are mixed with blank. There are a variety of covers. Some are hard and some soft.)

Waiting Room

I don’t know how long it took for the world to come together or for the red sea’s waters to gather in a heap so the people could cross. I know that Ezekiel heard the sound of dry bones rattling as he spoke the words that God told him to. I know that Abraham waited 25 years for the promise that God spoke.

It takes nine months for a baby to come to term in a woman’s body. Many things are happening during that time. Cells are replicating, weight is gained, and organs are formed and become functional. There is so much more going on at a rapid pace. It actually is rapid for the amount that is happening, but when you’re carrying it…it seems much longer. All we see is a swelling belly, and a mother, family, and friends varied reactions. If you are fortunate enough to have a sonogram, you can see a bit more.

There is so much to prepare for in that time. Getting a room or dwelling place is only a small part. Our hearts are enlarging for what is to come. As my own children were developing and growing inside me, I began to bond with them. As I prayed for them, I could feel their personhood or personality developing. It was clear that God had an individual and specific plan for each of their lives. With each one he would show me something small about them.

An elephant carries their babies for almost 2 years and a mouse for almost 3 weeks. A woman carries a baby for 9 months. Do you see a pattern here?

Abraham’s promise birthed an entire nation and it incubated for 25 years. I’m not going to say the size of the promise gives the exact size of what’s coming, but there may be some correlation. Imagine the amount of preparation involved and the importance of full-term delivery. There are milestones that need to be reached. The amount of work and development that God does during this time is enormous and important for healthy development. The work we are doing is a healthy diet of whatever God has told us to do. Plus, we need the essential vitamins of His Word, prayer, and worship are essential.

Abraham’s promise wasn’t just for himself. God had a plan and a desire to see something birthed into the earth, a nation. He had a people that he wanted to bring forth. To fill his vision, he desired to partner with someone to bring it about.

I would say that it wasn’t just Isaac that was being birthed. A father and mother were being birthed. I wasn’t born a mother, my kids made me one. God made Abraham into a father, not just a recipient. To be God’s kind of father, there is a lot more giving, nurturing, teaching, and leading than just a receiver of something.

Our promises were never meant just for us. If your promise is taking longer than you had thought or hoped, rest assured that there is critical development taking place that you cannot see. Know that as much as you are waiting, so is God. He wants to see that which has been placed in you come to full readiness, so it can go out and do what it was meant to do.

As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. (Isa.55:11)

Praying for his presence to be with you and upon you.

(The painting section above is one I’m working on, almost done, no title yet, 16 x 20″.

To Be Known

Have you ever thought of God as curious about you? Many think of God as having a big microscope with the intention of finding all that is wrong with us to punish or scold. Ps. 1:6 says, “for the Lord knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish.”

            He knows the way that you take or your path. The word, ‘knows’ goes beyond the surface of recognizing your face. It goes beyond the superficial, acquaintance, or mere observer. It is a deeper familiarity with who you are in the inmost places to the things you don’t show others. This is a familiarity with the inner workings of what motivates and moves you and what stops you in your tracks.

            I see a rectangular glass tank, like an empty fish or reptile tank. A hand reaches down with a magnifying glass to look intently at the object of his curiosity, like a scientist. No, you are not a lab rat. And no, God is not doing experiments. So much attention is given because you are the objects of his affection.

            I love to observe lots of things and individuals. When my children were small, I was so in awe of everything about them. If you’ve ever had a baby, I’m sure you’ve spent time just gazing at their small fingers, toes, ears, elbows, and nose. I was so amazed how, with six kids, they could be so different from each other. I would dream about what their lives would be like and who they would be. Their hearts, personalities, joys, and hurts have pulled my heart in every direction. With all the dreams and anxieties that I had for them, they were and still are under the Lord’s gaze as well. His dreams for them are bigger than mine or theirs could ever be. This is true for you too.

            God isn’t just observing. He is probing, pondering, and testing hearts. Like a momma with her babies, he is smitten. Can you imagine, the maker of the universe, so taken by you?

            Again, in Psalm 139:1-4: “You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely.”

            Not only does this speak of his love for you, it also speaks of his understanding. Others may not always understand you, but God sees and knows. He can see the beginning to end of your life. He knows how you came to think and behave as you do. Because of this great love, care, and attention, who better can you trust with your life and its’ details?

            My prayer for you today is that you can find peace, rest, and joy in that knowledge that you are so deeply loved and cared for.

(Photo above is from a section of an abstract pastel drawing I made. Unfortunately, I forgot to take a photo before putting it under the glass, so a bit of a blur.)

Boxes

How much would you like to see yourself differently? Have you ever thought about words and expectations as boxes or walls? It could be the expectations of others or your own expectations. Once a thought has developed into an expectation it can be limiting. An expectation too high or too low can have similar results of anxiety, overwhelm, or discouragement.  

            When talking to the Lord about these boxes, I heard, ‘If people put God in a box, what makes you think that they won’t do the same to you?’ God is not limited by man’s word or expectations about him. If you are in Christ, neither are you. You can do anything that God says you can.

            I can do all this through him who gives me strength. (Phil.4:13)

            You are who God says you are. His expectations are the only ones that matter. You are not just the sum of the mistakes that you’ve made or the choices that you’ve made in the past. If you belong to Christ, you are a new creation in Christ.

            16 So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. 17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! (2Cor.5:16-17)

            Spend some time reading the bible and ask God to show you who he says you are.

Prayer: Lord, show me who I am in you. Replace the lies with the truth. Help me to know and believe who you say I am and your expectations for me. Part of that truth is your love for me. Help me to see and know that love because that is where my strength lies. I pray this in Jesus’ name, Amen.

(The photo above is the dust left over from some pastel experimentations that I’ve been doing. I thought it looked cool.)

Appreciation

  When multiple stresses and pressures build up, some of us can stick to those things, sticky brains. We can shift into gear of problem-solving and forget about the many things there are to be thankful for. Problem-solving is necessary at times, but getting stuck in a place where we don’t see a solution isn’t helpful. Thankfulness helps keep our minds in a good place. How can we help our brains leave a place of stress and overwhelm? We look for things that we can appreciate and give thanks for.

            First, realize that when a problem is or seems big, it can appear to tower over our list of things to be thankful for. Sometimes we may not even be able to think of what to give thanks for. People that we are truly thankful for may even be part of the problem.

            Begin with the small and keep adding. Start out with at least five to ten things to be thankful for. When I began this practice years ago, I had trouble finding things to list. My brain would get so stuck on the heartache that I felt hopeless. I started out with the simplest things.

The things that I came to first were the things that brought me comfort. Music, art, color, line, shape, and stories were the places where I’d start. Of course, I thanked God for my family, but the issues within my family were where much of the heartache came from.

You may not feel appreciation with the words at first. There have been times for me that the words may have even come out a little begrudgingly at first. When you continue, real and deeper thankfulness will come. Keep at it.

            You may not see all your problems go away, but your focus will change. My load has lightened when I could see that issue, no matter how big it was, was not the whole picture. I have wondered off from that place many times and got stuck on something else. Sometimes, in wondering off, it’s hard for me to get back to a place of thankfulness. It always begins the same way, just doing it, giving thanks over and over until it does something, until I actually feel grateful.

Do it every time you feel your heart going to that place, as often as you need to. If you journal, I also recommend writing down these things that you are thankful for. Dwell on and ponder them with God. Let them soak in and water your soul. There are many difficulties and disappointments in today’s world. Find the things to stick to that bring you some joy. Remember it doesn’t have to be big. Find little joys and expand from there.

What do you like to look at or dream about (even if it’s been awhile)? Do you like to look at the green of the grass of a well-watered lawn? Do you enjoy the reflection of the trees on the water? Is it the blooms of spring and summer, or the snow in winter?

The next thing, which can be a little harder, is to thank God for the trouble itself. I have a hard time with this at times. Still, I know that if I can get past my emotions that God will work it all for good (Rom.8:28). I can’t know the when or the how of it.

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. (1 Thes.5:16-18)

Bitterness and complaining is a difficult mindset to break, especially if you’ve been raised in it. I’ve been working on it for years. It has gotten much better, but I still fight with it from time to time. Thankfulness is a key helper to a healthier mindset.

Remember Jer.29:11, “I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”

(Above photo: One of the things that I’m thankful for is that I get to work in the field that I went to college for. It enables me to share a relief giving tool that has helped me so much. I was painting envelopes and noticed how an interesting impression was left behind. These are some of the little things that I am thankful for.)