Little Blips

Do you ever have that feeling that you’re just doing something to get to the next thing? I think most everyone has at one point or another. Some of us have spent a very large part of our lives in that place. Recently, I was made aware in such a moment of how I might rethink.

            I was doing some work that wasn’t horrible, but I just really didn’t want to be there. There were a lot of people, sights, and sounds. As an introvert, it was draining me. I began to feel that familiar rushing sort of feeling and counting down in my head.

            Then, all of a sudden I feel this inner pause. God breaks into my thinking and my day. I love those moments. I became aware that I wasn’t just jumping from thing to thing on my ‘to do’ list. I wasn’t just marking off tasks to please this person or get to something more fun. I was missing something important.

            While all this action and noise is going on around about me, this is a piece of my life journey. It may be a small part of it, but it is still not only known to God but walked with him. In that noise, he was there walking beside me and sharing it with me. The noise didn’t seem as loud and a quiet joy came in and filled the space around me.

            As I thought on God’s love and goodness my attention went to a song that was playing: “Ain’t no mountain high enough. Ain’t no valley low enough. Ain’t no river wide enough to keep me from getting to you.”

            I laughed out loud as I thought about how good he is. He makes his love known to his creation in a variety of ways and circumstances. It isn’t just for me. He loves us. He loves you so much. As the world gets darker, his love is exactly what we need.

            When you are at work, washing dishes, folding the laundry, fixing one more thing that needs to be fixed, or any of the many things we do, God is there. He’s in the midst of the boring, mundane, heartbreaking, difficult and joyous. He’s there in the small little passing blips of time and the long drawn-out periods. Nothing passes his attention.

Psalms 8:4 says it perfectly, “what is mankind that you are mindful of them,
    human beings that you care for them?”

Today, you are not passing his attention. You are right in the center. Sometimes God takes us out of situations. Often he just walks us through them and helps us navigate.

(This photo is of a beautiful rose in my mother’s garden.)

You Are Loved

I don’t remember if anyone told me as a kid that God loved me. I’m pretty sure that I must have at least heard references to it since I went to a Catholic grade school. There aren’t a whole lot of memory references to that time period. As a teen, if someone would have said this, I probably would have looked behind me to see who they were talking to. It would have been hard to believe.

            In my mid-teens, I thought that if there was a God, I was on a one-way trip to hell with no other options. While high, I’d probably make some ridiculous comment about all the parties that I was going to find there. I often tried to tell myself that there was no God until I needed him and there was no one else to help me.

            That was really my whole life. I needed him, I just didn’t know it. In pain, foster homes, other facilities, and legal trouble the need grew and became inescapable. As the misery grew so did God’s attempts to reach me, but I wanted to do what I wanted to do. When he made it clear to me that I needed salvation, I wanted it, but I also wanted to continue living as I was without apposing rule.

            So the misery continued to grow because my choices caused it to grow. Then one night, in the middle of my sin, he came to me in a dream. I was terrified. Fear seemed to grip every move I made toward him. God kept telling me that it was okay. He wanted me to trust him.

The voice wasn’t audible, but a quiet voice in my heart. When I finally reached up and touched the tip of his finger, light and love flooded in and consumed me. I had never experienced anything like this. I woke up crying one of those all-out deep cries. I had never known or even imagined such love in my life. And this was while I was still in the midst of sin. How was this possible? How could he love me? I had read the red letters of a bible that had been left in a house that we rented. I knew that he desired holiness, and I knew that was not what I was living.

            He does desire holiness. He’s also made provision for us. God knew that we could not do it on our own. He didn’t send Christ just as a get-out-of-jail-free card. He desires relationship. He desires intimacy with you and me, and he made a way for that to be possible.

            Often, I have looked at the places where I was not enough. Maybe I didn’t know enough, didn’t speak well enough, or I didn’t do this or that good enough. We can never do everything perfectly, but that’s okay. This is where grace comes in.

“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” (Jer.31:3 NIV)

If you haven’t heard it lately or maybe at all, God loves you. You are precious in his sight, right now today, where you are, as you are.

(The photo above is of a kintsugi pot from upsplash.com)

Miniature ‘Memory’ Books

Mini ‘memory’ books were today’s project for Paint Your Way to Peace.

Heavy stress has caused me to forget things, sometimes important things. It has affected relationships and other areas.

I have prayed for solutions to combat this. One of the solutions that have come to me is these little memory books. The book on the left has a little jump ring on it so it can be made into a necklace, put on a keyring, or added to something else. I have just carried it with me.

Inside the book can be put bible verses, inspirational quotes, or other special text. It is to remind you of what you need to be reminded of. The idea is for when lies pop into your head, you can more easily pop in the truth.

New Challenge!

A new challenge is beginning tomorrow. If you would like to learn more and sign up (it’s free), here’s a link:

https://www.meliciafoster-evans.com/

The creative process has helped me a lot, so I like to share it with others. If you can’t make the times, there will be replays available.

Who Can You Trust?

It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in humans. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes. (Ps.118:8-9 NIV)

As I was reading these verses I felt the Lord speak to me about resources. It seems that the current financial landscape is teetering. Many may be looking to see how they are going to manage in a growing financial crisis. People are looking to many places and ideas of how to navigate as inflation has quickly risen and maybe just beginning.

To take refuge points to being pursued, or trying to escape danger or trouble. In the case of provision or other need of help, another human can only help so much. They are limited in scope. God has no limitations. He owns the cattle on a thousand hills. (Ps.50:10)

While a prince, or government, has much more resources than the average human, he also will only do so much. Then, men and governments have historically had a problem with power and unscrupulous activity. That may or may not be true with an individual, but it opens us up to that possibility.

Man or government is not our provider. We can always trust God to not use his power against us. In times of crisis, it can sometimes be hard to trust God. It’s much easier when things are good, easygoing, or smooth.

Looking at a challenge from far off, we can imagine how we might react when whatever ‘it’ is gets here. We don’t usually expect the strength of the emotion that comes with it. That emotion can move us to react a little differently than we thought.

If you are having an emotional reaction, first, don’t beat yourself up about it. Nothing good comes from that. Take one step at a time and ask God for help. He is the source of all things. Remember, Peter began to sink from his own reaction to the storm, but Jesus didn’t leave him there. He helped Peter up. He loves you and has good in store.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jer.29:11 NLT)

(The image above, ‘Under Blue Skies’, is one I did a few months ago. It is a colored pencil drawing on colored textured paper.)

Worth It

During a dark time I asked myself some serious questions. I had been in a long period of difficulties that I didn’t know exactly how to process. The questions sometimes went from… How long will this last? Is this it? Am I at the end? What about my promises? What about our promises? All the ‘what ifs’ were getting bigger and I felt I was losing hope.

            So many times in my life I have come to a place of questioning God’s goodness. When things got very hard, like many, I questioned his love for me. Even after deeply experiencing his love, I could later see him as hard and maybe even vengeful. How could I do that? I thought that maybe he had tired of my shenanigans. Maybe he became weary of my weaknesses and failings. Maybe he was tired of waiting for me to do whatever it was that I thought that I should do. I had certainly given him many reasons to leave me or become angry. This had been my experience with people. None of these things were true with him.

            When we read that the enemy came to steal, kill, and destroy, that is not limited in scope. It could be physical, mental, relationships, belongings and on and on. However, the number one thing that he is after is our relationship with God. Some of the many ways that this is done is through questioning God’s character and who we are to him.

            In all this, I began to ask myself if it’s all worth it. Immediately, I smiled and almost laughed. The enemy had overplayed his hand. How ridiculous. I remembered life before I knew Christ to then. I never really knew love before I met him. All the rest was just a mirage or an illusion of love.  

There have been dark times since I gave my life to him, but he was always there. Even in times I didn’t feel or see him, I would always rather wait for him than return to the pit in which he found me. God is good. He is worth it all. He is always good, all the time, not just when things are going well. He is good even when things don’t make sense.

God is good and he love’s you friend. His love is not like the love of the world. God is love (1John 4:16) in its purest form and love never fails (1Cor. 13:8). He has a plan for your life even when life seems unfriendly.

Job 42:2, a good verse to pray and let it soak into your heart. “Lord, I know that you can do all things and none of your plans can be thwarted.”

            Blessings.

(In the image above, ‘Galaxies’, I used acrylics and colored pencils.)

Big God

I’m so thankful that God has a bigger attention span than me. When there are many things going on in the world, and in our own personal worlds, it can feel overwhelming. It can feel like we become smaller and smaller while being surrounded by mountains.

            Troubles continue. They are a part of living. Yet, the one who created the universe continues to spin worlds. He moves planets in their time, and keeps the sun and stars burning. He sustains all things, keeps it all going. In it all, he is no less attentive of you and I. He still sees every area of our lives and he works it all for good. Nothing goes overlooked. Nothing is wasted.

            Sometimes it is hard to trust, not because God isn’t trustable, but because we’ve seen so much at the hands of men. Remember, God is not a man. He is always worthy of our trust (Num.23:19). His ways are not our ways (Isa.55:8-9). We can trust because he is faithful. He has never failed and he won’t start any time soon.

It may not look the way we had expected, or maybe the way we hoped, but it will be okay. He will work it all together for good. That is hard to see when we can’t see the final outcome.

            I am praying for you to know God’s peace today. I pray that he will enable you to turn your eyes off of the problem and onto his face. Don’t worry about your own ability or worthiness of God’s help. Nothing God does for us is based upon our worthiness but upon Christ’s. Feel free to message me with your prayer requests.

(The image above is of a few small tea bags I did for fun recently.)

Learning to Trust

I became born again when I was about 19 years old. It’s been over thirty years now. From the very beginning, it has been a walk of learning to trust.

            I had many fears, though I didn’t admit this to others. God knew the hurts that no one else could see. He knew the things that I had buried deep within my heart. I was ashamed of my sensitivity, so I did everything to hide it. I pushed down the wounds and covered them with hardness. I did not want to expose my heart and leave anything open to being wounded again.

            The problem with protecting my own heart is that the stone I placed around it, prevented love from coming in or going out. I trusted no one, including, maybe especially, God. How can you get help when no one can get in?

            In the first dream that I recall having with him, fear and darkness were thick and tangible. He motioned to my heart to come. I wanted to, desperately, but each time I thought about reaching up, fear gripped me again. In the moment that I finally reached up to touch him, in response to his reaching out to me, his love broke through the fear. The brightest light came in and removed all darkness. Where I had only known fear, I was fully consumed by love that I had never known nor imagined.

            I didn’t know at the time, but what a perfect illustration of 1Jn.4:18. Perfect love drives out all fear. He has continued to illustrate that verse for me over the years. It seems each struggle that I have gone through over the years has had a root of fear to it. I didn’t always realize it at the time, often not until God broke through with his love again.

            This same God that has come through for me, again and again, will come through for you. He is love (1Jn.4:8) and He is light (1Jn.1:5). When you are in the darkness of fear, I have found that his light and his love are one of the same. His light is his love and his love is his light.

            My prayer for you and the body of Christ as a whole is that we come into a deeper ability to trust him with our hearts and lives. It is a journey, we are learning to trust. Phil.4:19 says that he will meet all our needs according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. I pray that he would bring greater trust as he meets whatever your needs are today.

(Photo is Cosmos flowers from Unsplash.com.)

Firm and Gentle

There were few people in my youth who were willing, and maybe able, to be both firm and gentle, or loving. As a feeling person, that has not always been me. It takes a certain courage and boldness as well as love. This is something I still hope and strive for, not necessarily something that I’ve already achieved. I’ve always had huge respect for such people who would tell me the truth in love. Sometimes, just the truth would be nice.

There was a woman in one of the group homes I was in, Sherri, who was this to me. I was 16 years old, a very scared, messed up kid, and on my way to juvie. She didn’t shame me, but she didn’t gloss over my predicament and where I was in life. She also didn’t let me blame others for where I was and what was going on. She made me feel respected and cared for, but also held accountable.

Out of all the people who came and went in those places, she touched my heart in a way none of the others did, and I’m sure that she wasn’t even aware. She listened, offered wise counsel, and called me out when I slipped. I didn’t always like it, but knowing that she cared helped.

Sherri was the only adult I remember missing after leaving any of these places, and there were several. She’s one of only a few people that I even remember her name. Years later I returned to visit her, but she was gone. This wasn’t a  complete surprise because the turn over is great in these placement facilities.

My life didn’t altogether change at that time. Like many who find themselves in a dilemma of their own making, I saw the trouble that I was in, and I asked God to help this sister out.

I had no relationship with God to speak of at that time. There had been more animosity towards him than anything. But like my dad had told me as a kid, there are no atheists in foxholes. I was in big trouble and I needed help.

My prayer was honest. The repentance was sincere. I asked God to help me, and forgive me. I promised that I would really try to do better. I didn’t promise him that I would be a nun or a missionary or anything dramatic like that. I just told him that I would do my best and that I would probably end of blowing it, but I would still try. I knew there was no sense in lying, because he could see that I wouldn’t be capable of anything else. He heard my prayer and he helped me out in ways I didn’t foresee.

In the time afterwards it indeed did look like God had intervened when the charges were dropped. This didn’t make sense to me. I wasn’t sure what to think. I just didn’t see how it would be possible that God could have listened to or answered me. There was no reason for him to. That perplexed me and I thought about coincidences and things like that. I just wasn’t sure what it all meant and I set it aside.

I continued working to do better for a while and was moved from that group home to another foster home. For a few months I stayed cleaned up and pressed forward. Then one bad choice led to another and I ended up worse than before…for a time.

Some might have thought that it was all for naught. After all, I did return to my previous ways. That is true, but something was birthed in me, or an opening of some kind was made. Maybe it was hope. It was tiny, so small that I often couldn’t see it in times of despair.

Something poked at me. An argument or acknowledgement formed inside that maybe God really was there and that he had heard my prayer at least once. Maybe he would hear it again. That maybe is a big word and there would be much more contending with it. Whatever it was, a door of some kind was opened.

Today, I am so thankful when God corrects me, when he tells me the truth even when it hurts. I know he is strong, never harsh, and always speaks the truth in love. I know that if he confronts me, it is for my good and he will help me deal with it.

Don’t give up on those who seem far from reach. No one is too far off. You do not know what is going on behind the scenes. Only God knows a man’s heart. No one is beyond his reach. You do not know the impact you can have on another person by being firm and gentle, and you do not know what your prayers are accomplishing. You could be touching lives and never know it.

Here’s another fair truth. I did not then, nor do I now, know much of anything about Sherri’s life outside of the scope I interacted with. I don’t know of her struggles or life in much of any way, but that she made a difference. She surely could have been dealing with her own issues. You don’t need to be perfect to make a difference. Love somebody and remember God loves you.

(The small drawing above is one I did of one of my plants.)

Freedom

Freedom, the word has seemed vague and illusive to me at times. In different situations and conversations it can have different meanings. What keeps us from being free to do what we are called to do?

            2Peter 1:3 says, “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.”

            Since we have been given everything that we need to live a godly life, there is no want. We are not in short supply. And if we are not short, then what is holding us back? Doesn’t living a godly life encompass everything as believers? Such as living upright, and holy lives, but also doing what he has called us to do?

            How often is what holds us back directly linked to expectations? We have our own expectations of ourselves, others, God, and million things really of how things are supposed to go and how we are supposed to go with them. How much of our expectations are directly effected by the expectations of others, such as our families, church, society, and on and on?

            Tell me. How did these people and more get up next to God in our hearts and minds? Today’s culture is a perfect example. So many people are doing things and holding themselves back from things that they know are contrary to the truth. Yet, they still proceed. Why? Because they look around to see what everyone else is doing. They become afraid of words, and not being liked. Maybe this or that will happen. Maybe they don’t trust themselves. Maybe they don’t trust what they see, hear, or believe in these topsy-turvy times.

            That’s where I’ve been, in a place of not trusting myself. There’s been this bizarre stuff all around. I’ve seen myself fail…often. So what if I give less of my attention to mistrusting myself? Instead, I give that attention over to the one who deserves it, who has never failed me? What if I give myself permission to fail and fail and fail over and over again? It seems kind of funny, but why not just make fun. I never was good. God is the only, one thing in me that has ever been good, and he’s always good. He will always be good.

            When we’re afraid to fail, we prevent learning. This last summer I heard myself talking to my students about not being afraid to try. I saw some kids that looked around at the artwork of others and were afraid to put their own hand to it, so they might just sit there and watch. It hurt to know how they felt and how they would beat themselves up later for being afraid. It hurt to realize that my heart had forgotten that truth.

When I began my creative, art journey, I didn’t mind failing. I knew that for every failure I made, I learned something. It was about exploration, and fun. Sometimes, I was a little embarrassed when the mistake seemed stupid, but still I learned, and maybe even some humility in the process. (That’s also good to learn.)

Galatians 5:1, ‘It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.’

Galatians goes on to talk about not being bound by others who they themselves are not living in freedom. I have thought about how I have given in to the voices of so many throughout my life, family, friends, church, professors, too many to count. I’ve let their words create walls inside me. I refuse to live like that any longer. I will create, speak, write, draw, paint, and when I get really wildly bold, I suspect I’ll sing. Sometimes it may look weird, funny, strange, or just different. But sometimes it will be beautiful, and I will hold them all closely, because I want to live. I want to be free. Someday I might want to even dress funny, just because.

We are promised freedom in Christ. I’m taking mine even if I walk alone. So expect me to post my weird, odd, strange, and peculiar failures. Weighing every word is no fun. I am shaking off the rest of the fear that remained. Good-bye and I won’t miss you.

2 Corinthians 3:18, ‘Now the Lord is Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.’

(The image above is a small sketch that I made of one of my loved plants. It is small, only about 1″x2″.)